For richer or for poorer
My life partner's name is Mo. I had heard of him here and there and we were finally introduced by my family a few years ago. To be honest, there isn't a lot to recommend Mo. He's not particularly attractive, nor much of a communicator. When we do interact, he's patronizing and accusatory. We had a rocky start, or starts, I should say. We seperated a number of times, but after a month of huffing and stomping around my apartment, I'd come crawling back with new resolve and an promise to start with a clean slate. We've been together continuously for the last year and a half and I'm hopeful that our streak will continue. He's my advisor....my conscience...my Microsoft Money.
Anthropomorphizing Mo Money is no joke or cute trick. Laying out my financial transactions, categorizing every mocha and justifying every new clothing item requires more honesty from me than I've ever been able to provide in any human relationship. I could feel Mo looking over my shoulder at the grocery store. The gas station. The mall. The movies. I say that I was honest with Mo, but that's a big lie. I had to record all of my checking transactions, but there were plenty of other accounts that I didn't enter in Mo and money spent from those was under his radar. I would sneak Nordstrom bags past my computer and hide credit card statements with the dedication of an errant wife. Sooner or later, Mo would wise up and everything would go to hell and I'd swear I would never use MM again. It wasn't until I retired those hidden accounts and swore to use money from my checking account exclusively that Mo and I have had any long-lasting success.
I've never paid any attention to my budget and am not sure of the rules. When I first set it up, I thought that $200 a month for clothes was perfectly reasonable. (It's not.) Over the course of the last year, I've studied my budget and spending habits and have firmed up my spending categories and narrowed down my expenses. I'm still not sure if it's reasonable, but it keeps me on track. Mostly. Mo's not very forgiving, and a penny over budget is the same as a thousand so the goal is to never be in the red. But what's allowed? If I'm at risk of going over budget on groceries, but have money left in leisure does Mo recommend I see a movie in lieu of dinner? If I have $5 left in my gas budget at the end of the month but plenty in my checking account and am running on fumes, do I stop at the gas station for 2 gallons or fill the tank? Why didn't we ever have these types of word problems in high school math? So if I fill the tank and go over gas budget, I'll have money left over in my gas budget the following month - so can I move that money to my clothing budget and buy a new shirt?
Mo has a cash flow forecasting feature that was the bane of my existence in the early days. Somehow he managed to know what I would spend before I spent it and to predict when I would be out of money even while there was plenty in my account. The bastard didn't have much faith in me and that forecasting started many of my snits and had me swearing I'd never use Mo again. As I've gotten a better handle on my spending I've been able to use that feature to my advantage, thanks to my contrary nature. If Mo says I'm going to spend $15 next week on dining out, I try to spend $10. Mo thinks I need to put gas in my car tomorrow? I'll wait three days. Mo says I'll spend $20 on clothes this week? I'll spend $50. Okay, so it's not always a good thing.
I've gotten offers to replace Mo with the new version of Money, but I wouldn't even think of it. He my be ugly, but he's mine and has ultimately empowered my money choices for the good. I'm looking forward to sharing special moments with him in the future - paying off my car, buying a house, opening a retirement account. They just wouldn't be the same without Mo Money, my cheerleader, on the side.
Anthropomorphizing Mo Money is no joke or cute trick. Laying out my financial transactions, categorizing every mocha and justifying every new clothing item requires more honesty from me than I've ever been able to provide in any human relationship. I could feel Mo looking over my shoulder at the grocery store. The gas station. The mall. The movies. I say that I was honest with Mo, but that's a big lie. I had to record all of my checking transactions, but there were plenty of other accounts that I didn't enter in Mo and money spent from those was under his radar. I would sneak Nordstrom bags past my computer and hide credit card statements with the dedication of an errant wife. Sooner or later, Mo would wise up and everything would go to hell and I'd swear I would never use MM again. It wasn't until I retired those hidden accounts and swore to use money from my checking account exclusively that Mo and I have had any long-lasting success.
I've never paid any attention to my budget and am not sure of the rules. When I first set it up, I thought that $200 a month for clothes was perfectly reasonable. (It's not.) Over the course of the last year, I've studied my budget and spending habits and have firmed up my spending categories and narrowed down my expenses. I'm still not sure if it's reasonable, but it keeps me on track. Mostly. Mo's not very forgiving, and a penny over budget is the same as a thousand so the goal is to never be in the red. But what's allowed? If I'm at risk of going over budget on groceries, but have money left in leisure does Mo recommend I see a movie in lieu of dinner? If I have $5 left in my gas budget at the end of the month but plenty in my checking account and am running on fumes, do I stop at the gas station for 2 gallons or fill the tank? Why didn't we ever have these types of word problems in high school math? So if I fill the tank and go over gas budget, I'll have money left over in my gas budget the following month - so can I move that money to my clothing budget and buy a new shirt?
Mo has a cash flow forecasting feature that was the bane of my existence in the early days. Somehow he managed to know what I would spend before I spent it and to predict when I would be out of money even while there was plenty in my account. The bastard didn't have much faith in me and that forecasting started many of my snits and had me swearing I'd never use Mo again. As I've gotten a better handle on my spending I've been able to use that feature to my advantage, thanks to my contrary nature. If Mo says I'm going to spend $15 next week on dining out, I try to spend $10. Mo thinks I need to put gas in my car tomorrow? I'll wait three days. Mo says I'll spend $20 on clothes this week? I'll spend $50. Okay, so it's not always a good thing.
I've gotten offers to replace Mo with the new version of Money, but I wouldn't even think of it. He my be ugly, but he's mine and has ultimately empowered my money choices for the good. I'm looking forward to sharing special moments with him in the future - paying off my car, buying a house, opening a retirement account. They just wouldn't be the same without Mo Money, my cheerleader, on the side.
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