Collector

I am collecting straws. Every time you buy a bottle of water or a soda, the server or person behind the counter at the 7-11 hands you a straw. If it's a nice restaurant you may get a bendy straw but in no case would you want to use the straw since it's not in a wrapper and handled by god knows how many hands. So I've got quite a stash.

I am collecting photos of spirit houses. While most Thais are Buddhist (and an increasing proportion are Muslim as you head further south), animism still holds some clout. Buildings of all sorts have a spirit house - a bit like a miniature temple - located at some auspicious place outside the establishment. The spirit house provides a place for the spirits of the site to live so that they don't have to live with you. Keeping the spirits happy with decorations and flowers, food and beverages, ensures that they will not bother you; your business will prosper, your family will be healthy, etc. If things start to go wrong in your life, you can call in a specialist to examine your spirit house and make corrections.

I am collecting tan lines. The sun has finally overcome my spf 40 sunblock and my skin's getting dark and red, particularly in those inconvenient places like the part in my hair and the middle of my back.

I am collecting unique spellings of English words. Thai letters look absolutely nothing like our good old Roman alphabet and in addition to the 24 consonants (which is similar enough to our own number - 21), there are 27 vowels. Plus four different tones - rising, falling, flat and high. Therefore, it just isn't possible to directly translate the spelling of words and there seems to be any number of ways the same word could be spelled. For instance, my guidebook may refer to Rajamda street while the map shows Rachamta street and the street sign is Rachampa street. I quickly learned to ignore the spelling and goes with "sounds like" when looking for anything specific. Because this is a pretty touristy place there are signs advertising any number of things in English and the charming little spelling weirdnesses appear there. Lage wax. Bikine Store. Seafoof. Grass noodles. Bef. French fride. Banana spitt.

I am collecting bug bites. Though not as many as you might expect given the geography.

I am collecting sounds. I'm surprised to find that of all five senses, hearing is the one most stimulated here. I hear crickets and frogs when I walk at night. The waves crashing on the beach as I read a book. Tuk tuks and their drivers yelling "tuk tuk" "tuk tuk tuk" as I pass by. Songbirds of all sorts absolutely everywhere. Elephants bellowing on the path. Christmas music while I get a foot massage. Sizzling woks as I wait for food. Gibbons hooting in the forest.

I am collecting a beer belly. While beer and alcohol of every sort seems to be consumed primarily by tourists, there's no place to go that doesn't offer a big bottle of Singha beer to go along with your day. The perfect complement to any meal and the best relief for a hot day in the sun.