Nursing vocabulary

Quarter three of nursing school is officially over and I've got a new vocabulary. It appears that half of medicine (or nursing) is really about using the $10 words in place of the ones everyone actually understands. For example:

I appear to have porcine diaphoresis: I'm sweating like a pig.

I urgently need to micturate: I really need to pee.

My sacrum is pruritic: my back itches.

I have an ecchymotic subcubitis: there's a bruise on my arm.

My nocturia is likely due to excess hs fluid intake: I had too much water before bed and had to pee in the middle of the night.

I am dysarthric when intoxicated: when I'm drunk my speech is slurred.

My ineffective sleeping pattern caused ocular rubor: my eyes are red because I got to bed too late.

That will be $140 please.